


Skin on Skin

by LostCauses (Anteros)



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Drabble Collection, Headcanon, M/M, canonverse, eruri - Freeform, implied mikeru
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-02-07
Updated: 2018-04-15
Packaged: 2018-05-18 16:48:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 33
Words: 6,703
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5935645
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Anteros/pseuds/LostCauses
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A collection of short Eruri drabbles and headcanon originally posted on tumblr. Some angsty, some fluffy.  Levi, Erwin and Mike POV.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Skin in skin

Sometimes, when Levi cannot sleep at night and needs to feel the warmth of another body, he makes his way to Erwin’s quarters, undresses, climbs silently into bed beside him and curls against his back, arm around his waist. He’s always cold and his chin digs into his back but Erwin says nothing, just clasps his hand and pulls him closer, because it’s everything just to have him there.


	2. In his element

If Erwin can get away from his desk, he goes down to the training ground to watch Levi at the end of the day. Levi doesn’t want the trainees to get stupid ideas and break their fucking necks so he waits until they’ve gone before letting fly. Erwin has never lost the thrill of seeing Levi in the air. He watches, heart in mouth, as he loops and twists, dives and soars, with impossible speed and consummate grace. For a man who appears so small and tense when earthbound, once he takes to the air, Levi is a creature in his element.


	3. Reaching the sea

Erwin knows Levi hates the rain. On nights when storms hammer the barracks he goes looking for him, knowing Levi will not come to him. He finds him alone in his quarters, curled into a rigid knot, face to the wall. Erwin lays down beside him, careful not to touch, and starts talking. He talks about anything, everything; his childhood, his parents, his father’s theories, his days in training corps, Mike and Nanaba, Hanji’s latest mad theory, the current recruits, the supplies he needs to order, how he loves Levi’s hands, the touch of his skin, that small sound he makes when he’s angry or tired or frustrated, the way his brow furrows when he smiles. Anything to draw Levi back from the dark places. And sometimes, sometimes, he talks about Afterwards. Normally Erwin steadfastly refuses to even consider the possibility of Afterwards, but, if this is what it takes, if this is the lifeline Levi needs, he will cast his mind forwards to an impossible future where they explore mountains, rivers, valleys, forward to the moment when they crest the rise and stand together, gazing out over the ocean.

Levi follows the thread of Erwin’s voice back through the darkness. Uncurls, unfurls, turns away from the past, towards the man beside him who, even for a moment, allows himself to believe they will reach the sea.


	4. Wiping the past clean

The cleaning thing bothers Erwin. Not that he’d ever mention it, but still, it does. It bothers him because he understands why Levi does it. He understands the roots of this compulsion and it pains him terribly that it is beyond his power to free Levi from the grip of his obsession.

The others are unconcerned. The Survey Corps veterans accept it as a quirk of Levi’s idiosyncratic personality. They all have their quirks and kinks and oddities, which are accepted without question. It’s enough simply to have survived this long. And the trainees soon learn that it’s just another of the captain’s eccentricities, to be navigated at their peril. Levi himself claims not to give a fuck what any shitty ass people think.

But it still bothers Erwin. It bothers him when Levi returns from the washrooms long after the rest, hands scrubbed raw and bleeding. It bothers him when Levi gets trapped in the repetitive cycle of checking and cleaning, cleaning and checking. He has learned to break Levi out of the cycle with strong steady hands, long hard kisses, the heat and weight of his body, but still, it bothers him.

Erwin wishes he could wipe Levi’s past clean, but then Levi would not be Levi, and that would be beyond intolerable. He can wish as much as he wants, and oh he does, but Erwin knows he cannot erase Levi’s past any more that he can promise him a future.


	5. Measuring the small hours

Erwin sleeps like the dead, Levi barely at all. Most nights he is content to lie by Erwin’s side measuring the small hours with the tempo of his breath, the steady rise and fall of his chest. He never wakens Erwin, god knows, the man needs what little rest he can get.

Sometimes when the darkness of the past and the fear of the future start crawling under his skin, Levi gets up to read or make tea, but leaving Erwin while he is sleeping feels like a betrayal. Sometimes he lies still in the darkness and silently repeats snatches of half recalled rhymes from when he was a kid. He remembers only two but they help to quiet the fear scratching inside his skull. When all else fails, he lifts Erwin’s hand from his hip and places it carefully on his neck, the heart line of his palm resting against his pulse. The warm heavy weight of it instantly grounds him, stilling the clamour. It makes him feel safe, possessed, reminds him that he trusts and is trusted. Sometimes Erwin flexes his fingers in his sleep, the slightest pressure on Levi’s throat, sometimes he wakes just enough to press a soft kiss into his hair. He leaves his hand where it lies and, eventually, Levi slips into sleep.


	6. Free fall

It’s like watching a long, slow motion free fall. Mike can see Erwin falling but is powerless to stop him. 

Erwin has always been calculating, always three steps ahead of the game and Mike has long since given up trying to follow the twists and turns of his mind, but he’ll bet his life that falling for Levi was never part of Erwin’s plan. And yet somehow, somehow, there’s an odd inevitability to it, as though it was always bound to happen.

If Levi is aware he makes no sign, just stands his ground, stubborn, undaunted.

People call Erwin cold, but Mike knows that’s not true. He has felt Erwin’s heat and knows that he burns with a fierce bright intensity. He can smell that heat now, the tension coiling between them, wonders how they don’t suffocate from it.

Erwin continues to fall, Levi stands his ground, and it's all Mike can do to watch.


	7. The same, warmer

Levi wakes to find the 13th Commander of the Survey Corps running the tip of his nose down the slant of his cheekbone. 

“What the fuck are you doing?” he growls.

“Morning Levi,” Erwin’s voice is thick and heavy with sleep. 

Levi opens one eye and squints down at Erwin, his eyes are still closed, hair a riot and the expression on his face makes something in Levi’s chest flip over.

“Are you wiping your nose on my face? That’s fucking disgusting.”

“No.” Erwin continues running his nose over Levi’s cheek. “Just like the feel of your skin.” 

Levi runs the back of his hand over his jaw, feeling the rasp of stubble. 

“I need a shave.”

“Doesn’t matter.”

“Tch.”

Erwin’s nose has wandered from Levi’s cheek, down to his neck. He seems to have found a particularly alluring patch of skin below his ear, he’s rubbing his cheek against it, almost purring. 

“You smell good when you’re sleeping.” 

Levi can feel his muffled voice vibrating against his throat.

“How? Different?” 

“No. Yes. The same, warmer.” 

“Idiot. You’re talking shit.” Levi snorts but he pulls Erwin closer and tilts his head to the side as Erwin starts pressing kisses down the slope neck.


	8. Everything and Nothing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written for Canon Eruri Week 2016 day 3 prompt - First Times. 
> 
> The first time Erwin speaks Levi's name.

The words have been rattling around inside Erwin’s skull for days. Clattering against each other, discordant, disconcerting.

When they finally pass his lips one is familiar on his tongue, familiar as his own breath, the other foreign, sharp and bitter in his mouth.

“Levi.”

Levi’s head turns towards him on the pillow.

“What?”

“Ackerman.”

“Don’t.” 

He turns away again.

“I always wondered…”

“I didn’t know.”

Erwin runs one finger lightly over Levi’s shoulder.

“I know, but it makes sense somehow.”

“Don’t.”

Levi is silent for a moment.

“It doesn’t change who I am. It doesn’t change anything.”

Erwin looks down at the black hair feathering over the pillow beside him. The pulse flickering in his neck; blue blood below porcelain white skin. 

_Ackerman._

Erwin leans down and presses his lips to Levi’s throat, to the pulse.

“Levi,” he says again.

It changes everything. And nothing.


	9. Wait

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Head canon that Erwin gets down on his knees for Levi because it’s the one place he can let go and find a moment’s peace.

Levi comes with a long low moan, hips thrusting upwards, hands fisting in blond hair as he spills into Erwin’s mouth. Erwin swallows hard, two, three, four times, fingers digging into Levi’s hips. Levi’s whole body shudders as Erwin’s throat closes around him and then he collapses back into Erwin’s chair   
as the other man gazes up at him from the floor where he kneels between Levi’s spread legs. Levi closes his eyes and drifts, taking a moment to revel in that weightless feeling of release. Erwin’s head is resting on his thigh, deep regular breaths feathering warm over his skin. 

When Levi opens his eyes a few minutes later Erwin hasn’t moved. He’s still kneeling on the floor, head on Levi’s thigh, strands of blond corn silk caught amongst darker hair. His eyes are closed and Levi’s dick is resting soft and sticky against his cheek. Levi shifts in the chair but Erwin makes no attempt to move. Eyelashes flutter against Levi’s skin but his eyes remain firmly closed

“Hey. You going to stay down there all day old man?”

“Maybe,” Erwin murmurs, the movement of his lips against Levi’s thigh making him shiver.

“Have your knees gone or something? Am I going to have to haul your ass off the floor?”

“No.” 

Erwin still doesn’t move, just kneels there breathing, face pressed against Levi’s thigh.

Levi makes to stand up, but Erwin’s fingers tense on his hips. 

“Wait Levi.”

“What the fuck Erwin? We can’t stay here all day.”

“I know,” Erwin sighs, a warm exhalation of his breath against Levi’s skin. “Just a moment more. Please.” 

Levi is itching to get up and get himself cleaned off but if this is what Erwin needs he will not begrudge him this moment of stillness. It’s small recompense, it’s little enough. Levi settles back in the chair, fingers threading through Erwin’s hair, and waits.


	10. Keep Talking

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I brief response to _[that](http://www.mangafreeonline.com/shingeki_no_kyojin/c080/29/)_ scene in chapter 80, based on the raws, written before the translations came out.

Levi keeps talking. He has no idea what he’s saying. Can barely hear his voice above the hellish noise. But it doesn’t matter. Erwin can hear him so he keeps talking. Keeps talking until he sees Erwin’s expression start to shift. Until he sees the clouds in his eyes part and clear. Keeps talking until the ghosts recede, pushing back the darkness. The stones are digging into his knees and he’s almost deafened by the noise but Levi keeps talking. He’s done this before, pulled Erwin back from the brink, and he can do it now. Levi keeps talking and Erwin looks up, eyes clear and smiling.


	11. Fucking Brats

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A short headcanon dreamed up by me and @momtaku

Headcanon that Levi hates children. No really, he does. They’re noisy and dirty and snotty as fuck. Levi is the bad tempered uncle that the children at Historia’s orphanage have all been warned not to pester unless they want to be sent packing with a flea in their ear. Of course Levi only visits the orphanage so regularly because after all the fucking effort it took to get the damn thing set up, _someone_ has to make sure it’s doing its job properly. That’s all. No other reason. 

The children, for their part, don’t listen to the stern warnings. When the excited cry of “Captain Levi’s here!” goes up they flock around him like starlings, clinging to his knees and hanging off his shoulders. Even though he curses and scowls, even though he growls at them like a bad tempered bear making the children shriek and giggle as they run away. They don’t listen because the children know that the Captain’s pockets are always filled with sweets and no matter how much he scolds and frowns the sweets always find their way into mucky fingers and sticky mouths. 

“Fucking brats,” the Captain grumbles as they scatter away like leaves in the wind. 

“You love them really,” the former Commander grins as he kisses a candy smear from his cheek.

Levi rolls his eyes and bats Erwin away.

“Yeah, what ever.”


	12. Sleeping on a Clothesline

Headcancon that although Levi can barely sleep longer than an hour or two at a stretch, he has the ability to put himself to sleep at will, anywhere, at anytime. The Survey Corps members become used to finding him folded up in odd chairs and corners around headquarters. They joke that the Captain could sleep on a clothesline, but no one ever dares wake him. Like a cat, he has his favoured spots; a bench in the mess hall when it’s quiet, the chair in Erwin’s office, the space in Erwin’s bed. 

It takes Erwin years to coax Levi into spending an entire night in a bed, and even now, years after the war, he still wakes sometimes to find their bed empty. Padding through to the kitchen he finds Levi curled up on the old couch by the window overlooking the ocean, empty tea cup by his side. Erwin settles beside him, draping his arm over his shoulders and pulling him close, careful not to disturb him. He sits quiet, content, Levi sleeping by his side and watches as the sun rises over the sea.


	13. Tea, Lee

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> @birbwin wrote:
> 
> Erwin is so old and gay he brings levi tea in bed

Levi wakes early and, unlike Erwin, is not one to lie in bed. Unless his mind is on “other things”, he chafes and fidgets. He refuses to admit it, but he craves tea when he wakes, the same way that Erwin needs the kick start of coffee late in the afternoon. So Erwin has learned from long experience that the only way to keep Levi in bed is to bring the tea to him. As soon as Levi shifts and wakes beside him Erwin stumbles out of bed and into the kitchen. After years of practice, he has almost perfected the art of making tea without fully opening his eyes. He shuffles back through to the bedroom while Levi is still yawning and stretching and places the cup on the bedside table.

“Tea, Lee.”

Then he slides back under the covers, grateful to return to the warm cocoon of their bed, curling around Levi’s hip as he sits up to drink his tea. Erwin drifts off to sleep again with Levi’s hand tangling in his hair.


	14. Bless You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi is miserable as sin when he has a cold.

Levi is a wretched invalid. He snaps and sulks and complains and generally makes everyone’s life miserable. Erwin can sympathise. He knows how much Levi hates being ill. How much he loathes showing any sign of weakness or frailty. 

“I’m _fine_. There’s nothing wrong.”

How much he abhors the unsightly and unhygienic way his nose runs like a tap.

“Ugh. Fucking _disgusting_.”

How much he detests the continual undignified sneezing fits. 

“ _Fuck_ this shitty ass cold.”

Levi sneezes like a kitten. It’s ridiculous. It starts sensibly enough, a sharp intake of breath, a familiar tch, but it ends in a high-pitched squeak and a scrunch of his bright red nose. It’s quite the most ludicrous sound Erwin has ever heard coming from a grown man. Levi knows it, and Erwin knows it, the whole damn Survey Corps knows it. It’s hilarious, but no one dares laugh. No one except Hanji, who with blithe disregard for their own personal safety, laughs like a drain every time Levi sneezes. Levi scowls and snarls, face like thunder. He looks like he might murder Hanji if he had the strength. He also looks like he might cry, though it may just be the cold making his eyes water.

Eventually, for everyone’s sake, Erwin takes pity on Levi, relieving him of his duties and confining him to barracks until he stops sneezing. Barracks in this case being Erwin’s office, where Levi installs himself on the couch opposite Erwin’s desk. He makes a lousy patient, but Erwin copes as best he can. He brings Levi tea laced with honey and brandy, and tries not to laugh too hard when he sneezes.


	15. Ascent

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A drabble inspired by [peach-oniisan](http://peach-oniisan.tumblr.com/)'s stunning art work [What is victory to the lone survivor?](http://peach-oniisan.tumblr.com/post/150283269399/what-is-victory-to-the-lone-survivor)

He never expected to live. It’s not how it was supposed to happen, living on in a world without Erwin in it. But live he does. And he goes on living. All the strength he once put into fighting he puts into living, to seeing as much of the world as he can. He owes it to Erwin. To see, to witness, to experience everything he could not. It’s the very least he can do; to let Erwin see the new world, the world he had always dreamed of, through his eyes.

He talks as he climbs. It’s a habit he’s never managed to break; talking to Erwin. He talks to him just the same way he always did, but quietly. Erwin is sleeping now after all. He doesn’t want to disturb his rest. It doesn’t stop him grumbling as he lugs his pack up the mountain though.

“If you hadn’t gone and fucking died you could have helped me carry this shit up here. I’m not as young as I used to be you know.”

It’s true. He’s older of course, his leg aches terribly and his hair is shot through with silver. The old cloak is still on his back; it’s faded now, weathered to grey, the wings of freedom barely discernible, but they’re still there. Those wings are real, no one can take them away from him.

The moon has risen by the time he reaches the summit, a silver sickle hanging among pinprick stars. The sun has set but the last rays reflect off the peaks in roses and pinks and blues, the valley below shrouded in purple shadows that gather to black beneath the pines.

It takes him a long moment to catch his breath. 

“Hey,” he murmurs as he gazes out across the valley, “look at this shit old man.”


	16. Warmth

Headcanon that when Erwin gets out of bed first, Levi rolls over into the warmth left by his body and presses his face into the pillow to breathe in his heat. 

The absence of Erwin’s warmth in his life is one of the things he misses most.


	17. Last Kiss

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Headcanons written in response to peach-oniisan's prompt [Send me your headcanons about Levi & Erwin’s last kiss.](http://peach-oniisan.tumblr.com/post/150837301679/send-me-your-headcanons-about-levi-erwins-last)

Levi kisses with every fibre of his being. 

He kisses with his body as he kneels in the dirt before Erwin and Shiganshina burns around them.

He kisses with his tongue as he offers him the absolution he denies himself to free him from the burden of his guilt. _Give up on your dreams and die for us._

Drunk on heroism, he kisses with the sharp point of the needle. Then he hesitates, sobers, and turns away. _Let him rest._

He kisses with his mind’s eye as the flame of hope fades and dies. _Levi…thank you._

He kisses with his breath as Erwin breathes his last. _…oh._

He kisses with his hands; kind, loving, gentle, reverent. All the things he could not be in life. 

He kisses with his lips, a fleeting touch. He doesn’t linger. That way lies madness and despair. 

He kisses with fingertips, scrubbed clean of blood and hope, the lightest touch as he lifts the cloak and settles it over his face. 

He kisses with his life. 

_I swore to him._

Levi remembers each and every last kiss. 


	18. Smooth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Headcanon that although Erwin is covered in body hair, he is so fair that he looks like he's waxed from a distance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A LostBirb Eruri Hivemind Headcanon™ by lostcauses and [birbwin](https://archiveofourown.org/users/birbwin/pseuds/birbwin).

From this distance, the distance from the bed to the mirror, Erwin looks entirely hairless; smooth and flawless like the marble statues Levi once saw in the halls of Mitras. As he lies in the Commander’s bed and idly watches his morning ablutions, Levi quietly envies and adores his flawless perfection. But he knows that as Erwin turns, just so, the light will catch the fine strands of gold that dust his arms, his thighs, the darker blonde scattered across his chest, the thick trail tracing down his belly to the dense tight curls where Levi loves to drag his fingers and press his lips.


	19. Scent

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Headcanon that Levi loves the way Erwin smells.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A LostBirb Eruri Hivemind Headcanon™ by lostcauses and [birbwin](https://archiveofourown.org/users/birbwin/pseuds/birbwin).

“You smell fucking disgusting old man, go wash.”

Levi wrinkles his nose, but really, he adores it.

He follows the trail of hair below Erwin’s navel with his lips, tracing south until the curls tickle his nose. He chases the scent until he reaches the tight coils of gold, pressing his nose against the smooth warm skin of Erwin’s cock, cheek pillowed against the soft bright curls. Levi just lies there and breathes; breathes in the scent that is all Erwin, breathes in all he has to live for. Levi closes his eyes and just breathes.


	20. As you were

Head canon that for all his fuck off attitude and unapproachable façade, Levi is a tactile soul. Erwin sees it in the way he handles his subordinates; a touch on an arm here, a readjustment of a belt there, a hand offered to haul a mortified trainee off their ass. Words may often elude him, but Levi communicates eloquently through touch.

Unable or unwilling to express his irritation, his agitation, his need for solace through words, he seeks reassurance through contact. Sometimes it’s imperceptible as the brush of a shoulder in passing, or a foot pressed against the side of Erwin’s boot under the table. Other times it’s subtle as a brick. He’ll barge into Erwin’s office cursing about brats and idiots. Erwin pauses, pen in hand, as the captain stomps round behind him. He waits for a moment, for the soft heavy thud of Levi’s head against the back of his shoulder, feels the long exhalation of breath, warm against the back of his neck. Neither of them speak, there’s no need for words. Sometimes Levi’s hands snake around from behind, to clasp around his middle. That’s when Erwin lays down his pen and grips the wrist that lies against his belly, squeezing until he feels the bone under his fingers. Another long sigh and he feels Levi’s wrist slacken in his grasp, tension ebbing away.

Erwin remains seated, and waits. These moments are precious, a gift to be treasured.

And then Levi’s moving again. Pulling away, brisk and business like.

“Right,” he mutters.

He claps Erwin once on the shoulder and marches out of the office without a backward glance. Erwin shakes his head and snorts a short laugh.

“As you were Captain.”


	21. Endless ranks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anonymous asked: Headcanon that Levi doesn't enjoy cleaning like before after Erwin's death and that he avoids sleeping so he doesn't see his mom in nightmares or people he loved that are now dead.

No matter how much he dusts and scours and washes there is still dis-order. Such superficial control no longer brings relief, because no amount of cleaning can sweep away the awful absence. He throws open every shutter, but no amount of airing can lift the weight of silence that has gathered in his bones. He lets the dust settle like a shroud, softening the edges of unfinished plans, abandoned maps, unfulfilled dreams. It coats his skin and chokes his tongue but it doesn’t matter. There’s nothing left to say, because who now would hear him speak?

Sleep brings no respite, just a ceaseless procession of the dead. They pass him by with hollow eyes and empty mouths. He reaches out to his mother as she passes but her hand shrinks and crumbles in his grasp. They’re all there; everyone he ever loved, everyone he ever trusted. He shrinks from them, recoiling in horror from their dull reproachful gaze, and it takes every ounce of strength to struggle awake before he sees that familiar broken figure join their endless ranks.


	22. Music and Silence

Headcanon that Erwin sings loudly when he washes; in the communal showers, in the small bath tub in his private quarters, in the tiny wash basin in Levi’s room. His powerful bass voice reverberates off the walls, musical but untrained. He sings all sorts, knows all the popular songs and the classics. Levi wonders how he had time to learn them. Erwin laughs and says he didn’t learn them; songs just stick in his head. 

He also has a surprisingly extensive and filthy repertoire of bawdy ballads, which he claims to have learned from Nile and Mike when they were cadets. Mike gives the lie to that story, telling Levi that Erwin had a notorious talent for composing obscene verses about their training instructors. He’d have been drummed out of the Training Corps, if they’d ever been able to prove he was the culprit. Instead he was relegated to slop duty on the basis of suspicion alone.

* * *

Levi on the other hand sings very, very quietly under his breath, snippets of old children’s songs and half-remembered lullabies his mother used to sing. He only sings when he thinks no one is listening, sometimes in the stables, more often than not when he’s cleaning.

“What’s that you’re singing?” Erwin asks one day.

Levi frowns, tight lipped and silent. Erwin doesn’t ask again, just listens quietly to the soft melody of childhood memories, a strange tight feeling growing in his chest.

* * *

Levi notices the silence in the weeks running up to Shiganshina.

“You’ve stopped,” he says one morning.

“Stopped what?” Erwin pauses, looking up from his ablutions.

“Singing.” Levi clarifies as he buttons his shirt.

“Singing?”

“Yeah, singing. You used to sing when you washed.”

“Did I?”

“Yeah. All the time. Used to drive me up the fucking wall. Don’t you remember?”

“No, sorry. I guess I have a lot on my mind right now.” 

Erwin turns his attention back to the sink, rinsing the soap from his face and patting himself dry with the towel, the pink of his cheeks contrasting with the dark shadows under his eyes.

“Yeah,” Levi mutters, “I guess you do.” 

He ties his cravat with an irritated flick and leaves the room in silence.

* * *

Levi sings very, very quietly under his breath, snippets of popular songs and half-remembered bawdy ballads. He only sings when he thinks no one is listening, which is more often than not these days. The quiet melodies doing nothing to break the silence that has settled in his heart.


	23. Profile

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A short thing inspired by this [short thing](http://lostcauses-noregrets.tumblr.com/post/160343933795/tatakaeeren-levis-beautiful-profile-%E1%83%A6-%E1%83%A6) ;)

Hanji rattles on with conviction as squad leaders shift and fidget around the table. A wasp buzzes against the windowpane in an aptly futile bid for freedom. Mike stares ahead with that peculiarly vacant gaze, only the occasional twitch of moustache revealing residual consciousness. Moblit nods and smiles, florid doodles flourishing across a neat pile of papers. Nanaba shuffles in her chair, stifling a yawn. Levi frowns, re-crossing his arms and huffing out an impatient breath, chin tilting upwards.

The Commander’s concentration slips and wanders. Drifting to the crease furrowing narrow brows, sliding down the slope of a defiantly upturned nose, pausing to dip into the hollow of a perfect philtrum, tracing over the contour of smooth straight lips, slipping between…

“Commander?”

Erwin blinks. 

Hanji peers over their glasses. Four heads turning expectantly towards him. Erwin clears his throat.

“Thank you Hanji, I will have to give careful consideration to the consequences of this,” he pauses, shifting uncomfortably in a vain effort to ease the heat and pressure pooling in his lap, “course of action.”

Hanji opens their mouth to protest

“Squad leaders dismissed.” Erwin interjects firmly.

The squad leaders breathe a collective sight of relief as they troop out of the office and Erwin pretends not to notice the corner of one mouth that quirks upwards into that maddening almost smile.


	24. Cuddle

Head canon that Levi is an inveterate cuddler, though he’ll deny it to his dying breath. He uses Erwin as his own personal pillow, shoving and nudging him into position until he’s comfortable, growling with irritation if he has the audacity to move or stretch. Levi may be small, but he is solid and heavy and he fidgets when he sleeps. Erwin frequently wakes up with pins and needles in his arms, a dead leg, and bruises on his shins. He doesn’t care. It’s worth every discomfort to wake up with Levi in his arms.


	25. Mano Destra

Erwin is captivated by Levi’s hands, literally and metaphorically. 

They’re small and strong, callused and scarred, fingers surprisingly long and slender. In another life they might have been beautiful. Not in this one. In this life they are soldier’s hands, roughened by war, though there is an awe inspiring grace in the way they wield a blade.

Strange to think these small hands are the hope of humanity. Mankind’s very survival rests in these little palms, these diminutive fingers. It’s hard to believe. And like Levi these hands are contradictory; capable of great gentleness, great tenderness, yet able to kill at a stroke.

There is something unique about Levi’s hands. They are as idiosyncratic as the man himself; the backward grip of his killing strike, the delicacy of his fingertips on the rim of a teacup, the purple bruises he presses into his commander’s flesh.

Levi’s fingerprints on Erwin’s skin.

The lightest touch is enough to set Erwin’s blood racing, sparks trickling down his spine as rough fingers trace over his skin. A caress will send him to his knees to plead and gasp and beg until strong sure strokes grant him the release he so desperately craves. Levi has talented hands.

Erwin trusts Levi’s hands with his life, and not just on the battlefield. He owes his survival to these hands just as surely as the countless soldiers who live and breath thanks to the swift sure strength of Levi’s blades. These are the hands that hold Erwin, that ground him, that pull him back from the precipice when the abyss of guilt yawns beneath his feet, more fearful than the gaping maw of any titan. It’s Levi’s hands that draw him back from the brink, that steady him until he regains his balance. Again and again and again.

Erwin repays that debt with worship and adoration, kissing each finger with fierce reverence, every scar, every callus witness to the strength of Levi’s will, the depth of his devotion.


	26. Of Mice and Men

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anonymous asked:
> 
> "If Levi and Erwin had pets, what do you think they'd go for?"

It’s a complete cliché but for Levi is has to be a cat. A black one with torn ears and a white bib. Erwin can’t fail to notice the resemblance but is too polite to say anything. Still, he has to struggle to hide his smile whenever he sees the cat stalking along behind Levi, looking every bit as aloof and predatory as his scowling captain. The cat doesn’t actually belong to Levi, it has just chosen to share his space, much as Levi has chosen to share Erwin’s. It’s a small demanding creature that comes and goes as it pleases. No one is very sure where it came from and no one but Levi can get near it, though it tolerates Erwin’s presence if Levi is nearby. It shuns all offers of affection and a few unwary trainees that have tried to pet the animal have scars to tell the tale. However sometimes, in the quiet of Erwin’s office, late at night, it will climb into Levi’s lap and curl up contentedly, kneeding at his thighs with unsheathed claws, before settling down to sleep. Erwin works on through the night accompanied by Levi’s quiet breaths and the soft purring of the sleeping cat. Later, he’ll press his lips to the pinprick marks of those needle sharp claws.

For Erwin, common sense says a hound, an animal that is devoted to his master and will stand his ground and fight to the death on his command. Or maybe a hawk, something small and fast and deadly. A falcon perhaps, death on swift wings. But for some daft reason I can also imagine Erwin with a mouse. A tiny little brown creature with sharp black eyes that lives under his desk. Levi is horrified the first time he sees it and tries to kill the vermin with his broom, only relenting when Erwin confesses that he likes having it around as it keeps him company. Levi watches quietly as Erwin feeds the mouse crumbs from his plate and wonders, not for the first time, how the Commander of the Survey Corps, can care so much for a life so insignificant.


	27. A Greater Death

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Inspired by @seitsensarvi's beautiful art [a reversal](http://seitsensarvi.tumblr.com/post/163025220853/very-last-draw-i-added-to-the-zine-for-gathering).

The weight takes Erwin aback. Almost drags him to his knees. How can this be? This dead weight? Levi is a creature of the air, graceful and deadly as a falling hawk. Poised, alert and ready. But Erwin has seen him fall before. Has seen that little death. That moment when the momentum builds and builds and brings him crashing back to earth, leaving him lying limp and heavy in Erwin’s arms. Just as he is now. But as the weight settles, Erwin knows that this is a greater death by far.


	28. Five Things

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anonymous asked: When you get this, respond with five things that make you happy.

1\. The small noise, half growl, half purr, that Levi makes in the morning when Erwin kisses him awake.

2\. The way he scrunches up his nose when Erwin lays a trail of soft kisses across his cheek. 

3\. The pliant arch of Levi’s back as Erwin drags fingers down his spine. 

4\. The desperate, pleading sound he makes when Erwin takes him in his mouth. 

5\. The way he comes with Erwin’s name on his lips, without ever opening his eyes. 

_All these things make me happy._


	29. Horizon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Inspired by @seitsensarvi's [departure](http://seitsensarvi.tumblr.com/post/163296272933/departure).

The world seems so great, so vast. Even though they now know their walled world is bounded by an island, encompassed by seas that are not endless, that lap against an enemy’s shores. But still the horizon draws Levi, the flat gray line of the ocean, the high white peaks of snow capped mountains, the shadow of the man who has departed, who has gone before. And he’s tired, so tired, of keeping on going, he sometimes wonders if he will ever catch up. “Wait for me Erwin” he mutters as he reaches out for the empty horizon.


	30. Do you ever wonder?

…at the desolation Levi feels as the physical memory of Erwin slips away with the passage of time? As slowly, slowly his scent fades, the sound of his voice is silenced, as remembrance of his touch diminishes? 

Do you ever wonder if Levi panics when, quite suddenly, without warning, he realizes one day that he can no longer recall Erwin’s smell? Do you wonder if he rushes desperately to his room and pulls Erwin’s shirt from beneath his pillow, the old worn one with the ink stain on the sleeve, buries his face in it, and smells nothing, nothing but the soft breath of linen?

Do you ever wonder if, after months of numb despair, Levi dreams of Erwin, and wakes with the warm caress of Erwin’s hands on his body, his scent in his hair, his voice low in his ear, his pillow wet with tears?

Do you ever wonder if, for a time, Levi’s world seems a little less cold?


	31. Rat faced bastard

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A gift for @ackbang and @birbwin in return for the _lovely_ artwork.

He’d been looking for envelopes when he found it, crumpled at the bottom of the drawer of Erwin’s desk, underneath a pile of old bills and circulars. Levi smiled when he smoothed out the paper and saw the sketch of the man with his hands down his pants, face flushed, biting his lip. 

“You dirty bastard…” he muttered fondly as he wandered through to the living room to present his husband with the incriminating evidence.

It was as only when he glanced at the sketch a second time that he realised the face looked familiar. Correction, the thin ratty beard looked familiar. Levi’s eyes blew wide as his breath caught in his throat, stomach churning.

“ERWIN!!!” He bellowed.

“Levi? What’s wrong darling, are you all right?”

Erwin’s head appeared round the living room doorway, brows creased in concern. 

“What. The fuck. Is. _This_?” Levi demanded, thrusting the crumpled sketch under his soon-to-be-ex-husband’s nose. 

“Oh, that,” Erwin laughed nervously, cheeks flushing pink as the man in the drawing. “That’s just a joke.”

“A joke? A fucking joke? You think Nile Dok having a wank is fucking funny?”

“No!” Erwin protested, holding his hands up and backing away from the livid ball of fury advancing towards him. “It was just some friends trying to wind me up.”

“Friends?” Levi hissed. “Friends? What kind of ‘friends’ would do something like this?”

“Stupid ones.” Erwin plucked the piece of paper from his husband’s hands while just managing to keep out of reach. “You must admit,” he added, risking a glance at the sketch, “it’s a pretty good likeness.”

“Good likeness? Good fucking likeness?” Levi’s face was an alarming shade of red, though he did have to quietly agree, it was a very good likeness. “How the fuck do you know what Nile looks like when he’s wanking anyway? Fucking disgusting.” He scrubbed his hand over his face as though trying to pluck his eyes out. "I always knew you had a thing for that rat faced bastard.“

"Don’t be silly Levi, how could I ever look at another man now I have you?”

Erwin reached tentatively for his tiny seething husband, pulling him into a tight embrace. The tops of Levi’s ears were still scarlet but he seemed a little calmer now he had his face buried in Erwin’s chest. 

“You know you’re the only man for me darling. I should have thrown the stupid thing away.” Erwin’s hand was drawing soothing circles on his husband’s back, cautiously moving lower. “Come on, what can I do to make it up to you?”

“Tea and blow jobs every day for a month would be a start.” Levi mumbled into Erwin’s chest, and if his lips grazed a nipple it was surely an accident. 

“Your wish is my command,” Erwin replied, dropping smoothly to his knees and trying to ignore the way they cracked like gun shots. 

“One thing,” Levi said, as his hand tangled in his husband’s hair, “give me the name of the pervert who drew that shit.”

“Why?” Erwin asked curiously, looking up from where he was making short work of Levi’s belt.

“Oh… want to see if they can draw your cum face as well as that ratty bastard’s….”


	32. Shards

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> For ajaxthegreat.

Levi doesn’t fit. Never has done. Doesn’t fit in the world. Doesn’t fit with other people. Doesn’t fit in his own skin. Too many sharp edges and broken pieces. Levi is a man of shards. Sharp as a razor and brittle as glass.

He holds himself together with effort. Tries not to let his jagged edges cut the few people he cares about. He rarely succeeds. Despite his best efforts, Levi hurts, he wounds, he kills those who are brave or foolish enough to come too close. He is lethal as an open knife and just as dangerous.

So he keeps his distance, shuts himself off, retreats behind a cold hard shell. Easier that way, safer. For him and for others. But his shell is mazed with cracks and beneath the surface everything is broken. And sometimes, just sometimes, Levi wishes he fitted. Somewhere. Anywhere. Wishes for someone to break him apart and reassemble the pieces. Put him back together again smooth and complete.

~

It’s not a promising hookup. All he wants is to fuck and forget, but blondie is not his type. Too smooth, too clean cut, too fucking _handsome_. Levi forgets appearances can be deceptive.

Erwin takes Levi and picks him apart. Slowly, carefully, with strong hands and steely determination. Levi resists, afraid of shattering, but Erwin knows exactly where to apply pressure. He is strong enough, fearless enough to apply force where it’s needed. And Levi needs it. His sharp edges lacerate Erwin but he doesn’t flinch. He backs Levi into a corner until he has no choice but to fight. And then he breaks him. Shatters him into a million shards, fine and bright as Phoebus Apollo. Levi breaks and is reforged under the heat and the pressure of Erwin’s hands, Erwin’s eyes, Erwin’s body.

Levi wakes, tucked into the circle Erwin’s arms. He is smooth and warm and whole. Levi fits.


	33. Stillness

Headcanon that sometimes when Levi wakes in the still, grey hour before dawn, he lies for a moment with his eyes closed. And sometimes in the stillness and the silence he can almost hear the soft regular breaths on the pillow beside him, feel the warmth on his cheek, the weight of the body by his side, the smooth heat of his skin. Sometimes if he lies still enough for long enough he can almost reach out and place one hand on his shoulder, can feel the soft insistent press of warm lips against his own. And for a moment, just for a moment, the world is less grey. 

But the stillness can only last so long and too soon Levi opens his eyes to face another empty day. The silence, however, remains.


End file.
